Confidence is Key
If you’re a performer, an artist, or (let’s be honest) human, you probably know what it’s like to feel a little insecure or anxious. At times, that insecurity can cause us to hold back or reserve the best of us. We know we have more to offer, but we struggle to show up vulnerably and allow the world to see it. So often, parents call me about voice/acting lessons for their child and they mention this keyword that is so important: confidence. They want to see their child develop some self-assurance. That might mean courage to go after that solo or role, or it might mean freedom to show up in social situations or believe in themselves. No matter the application, confidence is key to living our fullest lives and best contributing to the world around us.
So today, I want to give 4 tips for developing confidence.
#1: Assume the Best
I don’t know about you, but often I fear that others judge me because sometimes I too am critical. I think, “if I think this way, surely they think that too.” So what if we flip the script. Instead of noticing the negative in others and in ourselves, what if we choose to pay attention to the positive. By looking for the good in others, whether that’s their performance or their personality, we begin to celebrate those attributes that are worthy of praise. It shifts our focus from being critical to being constructive.
#2: Build Trust with Your Teacher & Classmates
If you’ve ever done anything new as a student (voice lessons, gymnastics, pottery, basketball, you name it), you’re probably familiar with that timid feeling you get as a beginner. Not totally sure if you’re doing it “right.” As a teacher, I often encounter this with brand new students who have never worked with me. While we have a couple of interactions to start with, there are a lot of unknowns, and let’s face it, no one wants to mess up. But here’s the thing: beginners are not supposed to be or expected to be experts. You try something new for the very purpose of learning. Being vulnerable as a beginner allows you to build trust with your teacher or classmates (assuming, of course, that you have a supportive environment). Allow yourself to be a beginner- make it a no judgment zone.
#3: Learn to Evaluate Objectively
This is so important. People that have a desire to participate in the arts often are highly self-critical. These are the people that say “I can’t stand to hear my own voice on recording” or cringe any time they make a mistake. As performers, we are typically hyper-aware of our “failures.” Here’s the thing: we must learn to be objective about ourselves and our performances. If we are not intentional about our self-evaluations, we run the risk of catering to our ego- either the big-headed side or the side that thinks you’re terrible. And, we can begin to conflate our performance with our personhood, which is not the same thing. I find that a simple structure helps to bring some objectivity to evaluation; I call it -wait for it- “Pros & Cons.” (Pros and Cons is an idea obviously not original to me 😄). The concept is simple, but often effective: following a run-through, rehearsal, or performance (for performance, I recommend waiting 24 hours), do a quick round of two questions:
“What went well?” (maybe this time you really nailed that rhythm, or your high note was sparkling)
“What needs work?” (maybe you missed a few pitches or your entrances didn’t sound very strong)
This simple and quick check allows you to see that a) it wasn’t all bad. In fact, some of it was pretty stinkin’ awesome. And b) there’s still room to grow, and now you have a target to work on those specific areas. Remember, it’s not that you are a bad person or performer, it’s just that you have more to polish in order to get to the quality you desire.
Be sure to get the practice journal template below to get started with this framework.
#4: Prepare
Finally, preparation matters. Why? Because knowing our material (and/or our values) gives us a backstop. If we prepare adequately, we can be sure that we’ve done our best. If you’ve studied the lyrics to your song or your lines/cues until you know them like the back of your hand, then you’ve built the muscle memory/brain path to follow through. It’s when we intentionally don’t prepare (when we get a little too comfortable), that we begin to second guess ourselves at the least opportune moments; which causes a jumble in our brains and a stumble in our performance. Taking our preparation seriously allows us to rely on that muscle memory and be present to the moment, interact with our audience, enjoy it, take different risks, and experience peace of mind.
Confidence is key- to strong performances and to life in general. We can begin to develop that assurance and courage by assuming the best in others and ourselves, getting connected with a supportive environment and building trust with those teachers, classmates and collaborators, learning to evaluate ourselves objectively instead of subjectively, and preparing to set ourselves up for a success. You got this!
